Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The First Taste is Always Free

In the last post we teased a new package for teachers to buy a Nate Silver to look at their data and prove they are an awesome teacher.  For $250, if we can't find a single shred of data anywhere in your history that proves you to be modestly competent, we will provide some sure fire assessments.  Here is your first taste. 
It's a Long Way To The Top

Step 1.  Take any assessment that is multiple choice
Step 2.  Give a pre-unit assessment
Step 3.  During the unit of instruction, play AC/DC.  Especially “It's a Long Way To The Top,” which is featured in the kid friendly movie School of Rock
Step 4.  Everyday during the unit, when your students ask “what is that?” Just tell them the name of the band.
Step 5.  Post assessment.  Rearrange the answer choices to be A.C.D.C. repeated. 
Step 6.  Watch those scores rise.  You are an awesome teacher.  (btw if this doesn't work, go teach PE)
Step 7.  Want more awesome advice like this.  Get in touch with us about how you can send us $250 from your paycheck just once so you can keep a few more of those sweet sweet pay stubbies from the quarter billion dollar LAUSD payroll system.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Yes on the UTLA/LAUSD appendage

---jump right to the bottom for how notyet LAUSD is going to make millions off this new contract---

Teachers suck.  Okay, not all teachers.  Not even most.  Maybe a few teachers suck.  Somewhere in some part of this world a teacher sucks at their profession.

VAM sucks.  CST sucks.  All standardized tests suck.  Data analysis of tests suck.  There is no value in tests.  Okay maybe a smidge of value.  Some where there is one piece of data that possesses the slightest hint of value.

With that profound insight, may I give my ringing endorsement for the recent appendage to the UTLA/LAUSD contract. 
1.     It doesn’t matter how you vote.  UTLA and LAUSD agreed to this, and should UTLA members vote “no,” the judge will probably revert to this plan.
2.     The wording of the contract allows a teacher to bring their own data to the table.  You have to be a sucky teacher to not find a single piece of data to show some sort of growth.  The terminology is so broad; it would take a special teacher not to find a piece of data to explain doing a good job on something at some point in time.
The caveat
1.     The school administrator can use just about any data they want to as well.
2.     There is no change to they way conflicts are resolved, so the problems with arbitrating (if it ever happens) with the existing contract will add a new dimension of complexity.

The money grab
No one has the time to do data analysis at a school site.  Thanks to notyet LAUSD’s partnership with our sponsors they will do all the data analysis for us.  Sponsors get to pick the data they care about and then notyet LAUSD, as the administrative branch, gets to tell our administrators down at the school site to use the data we tell them to. 

We charge teachers $250 to look at their data and find something useful.  notyet LAUSD will go through your data and find something that makes you look competent. If we can’t find data, we’ll show you how to create a few foolproof tests and administration techniques to ensure your students scores grow.